After Dry Bones...way after

After Dry Bones...I am still here. I am realizing everyday that it takes constant death and renewal to proceed in the spiritual (dual-natured) world in which I live.

I have never understood this world. I don't understand the people (including myself) though I love them (yes, including myself). I have learned that a bit of insanity comes when you choose to live counter to the present culture (or at least the way I have tried to live counter to this culture). Even those on your side seldom are able to really relate to you. Is it that we don't really try, or is it an inherent problem within a dual-lived life where flesh is in constant battle with spirit?

I believe in the future redemption of all this, I am just constantly frustrated with the present state. I often wonder what the redeemed state will hold for me. Have I been responsible enough with what I have been entrusted to have much there? The good Lord knows I have given up that which was very dear to me, in the hopes of pleasing him, but maybe it didn't please him. I am so thankful the Lord has all of this in his hands and loves me in spite of my confusion.

I struggle with the direction I am headed whatever that is. I have longed to be a family man my whole life, and now that the blessing is here in full force, I don't think I am very good at it... what's with that? It is just testament that this world is broken and that most of what we count on in this world is a mirage of satisfaction. ...come redemption... come....

Thanks for reading... if you have actually read...

After Dry Bones...

After Dry Bones...hey I guess no one has found me since march, oh well. I am still alive.